Which Contains Hats
by YesIEatQuiche
Summary: Sophie decides to make Howl a cute hat, but Howl will not have it. A snapshot of everyone's favorite bickering couple. Slightly pointless, but hopefully affords some amusement. Post-book oneshot.


**A/N: **Hello all!It's been a while since my last HowlXSophie oneshot. My passing thought about hats was too tempting to ignore. I have two reasons for writing this: (1) I like it when Sophie shows her magical prowess and (2) I was in the middle of writing chapter 11 of In Which Howl Meets a Little Gray Mouse when I kept thinking back to chapter 4 when I had made a fleeting comment of Howl not being compatible with hats. So yes. Be warned, I think the plot is hiding away somewhere haha.

Oh yes, before I forget, timeline is post book. Hopefully that is apparent.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Diana Wynne Jone's masterpiece _Howl's Moving Castle_. And I'm not affiliated with Studio Ghibli for that matter.

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><p><span>Which Contains Hats<span>

It was a particularly dreary day in February. Harsh winds swept across the Wastes and battered threateningly against the moving castle. Snow fell in a frenzied torrent across the castle's path.

Inside, however, all seemed calm. A fire blazed (not Calcifer mind you), giving the room a cheery air. Sophie sat on a chair by the fire, curled up in a blanket. Howl was huddled over his workbench, muttering magic formulas.

Suddenly, Sophie stood up – blanket and all – and stumbled up the stairs as best as could be hoped for a person constricted by a blanket. She returned several minutes later with a basket in hand, and sat down elatedly in her chair. All this went unnoticed by Howl.

Sophie opened the basket carefully, and then smiled. It contained all of her materials from her old hat shop. The colorful threads and ribbons greeted her like old friends.

"I missed you guys," she murmured.

And she realized it was true. While she didn't miss the long, dull days in the hat shop, she did miss making hats. She missed the creativity of it. She missed experimenting and (now that she knew better) testing her magic on them. Normally she satisfied this need for magical experimentation on her flowers, but it was the dead of winter, and even with magic it was a struggle to get them to grow. Luckily, Sophie had remembered her hats.

What to make, what to make, Sophie wondered. She glanced about the castle, hoping some idea would strike her. Unfortunately the only thing worth looking at in the castle was Howl, and Sophie soon found herself staring at the back of his raven hair, itching to run her fingers through it. She stared contentedly at the back of his head for a few moments, until her brain registered what she was doing, and Sophie chastised herself in disgust. She _would_ be creative, Sophie told herself. She _would_ make a hat today.

Just then, Sophie had a brilliant idea.

"Oh Howl?" Sophie said, breaking the relative silence.

Howl made a small noise in response and stopped writing.

"Howl dear," Sophie continued, "how about I make you a hat?"

Howl spun around in his chair and regarded her with alarmed eyes.

"Are you out of your mind Sophie?" he demanded.

"Howl," Sophie laughed, "whatever is the matter?"

"I never wear hats. You of all people should know that." Howl took a deep breath, steadying himself. "Hats are completely incompatible with my bone structure," he deadpanned.

Sophie stared at him through narrowed eyes for a few moments. Then they widened in surprise. He was being serious.

"Don't be ridiculous, Howl. If I want to make you a hat, I will make you a hat. And you will wear it," she threatened.

"I will do no such thing!" Howl exclaimed, completely abandoning his work now, and turning his chair to face Sophie's. "You asked, clearly giving me a choice in the matter." He waved his hand triumphantly.

"Oh please, Howl. Of course you have no choice in the matter. I was just being polite. Now come over here, I need to find which color looks best with your hair."

"No! I won't do it! You're trying to ruin my looks!"

"Now Howl –"

"I won't do it, I tell you!" He stood up from his chair and began edging away.

Sophie stood up too. Howl had just reached the stairs.

"_Howl_," Sophie growled.

Howl took a step up the stairs while Sophie took a step towards Howl. And then something strange happened. The end of Sophie's blanket caught on the edge of the chair, stopping Sophie mid-stride and throwing her off-balance. When the chair began to topple over, so did she. Howl meanwhile, was briefly torn between continuing his escape and saving Sophie from her impending fall. The latter won out.

Before Sophie had a chance to blink, Howl's arms were wrapped around her waist, hoisting her up.

They smiled at each other for a moment.

"Thanks," Sophie sighed.

"Don't mention it," Howl said happily. He leaned a little closer. "Now let's not have any more talk about hats, okay Sophie?"

Howl was forced to recoil from the intensity of Sophie's glare. She shoved him away – muttering something that sounding suspiciously like "oh bother" – and gathered up her basket. She stood stiffly and wrapped her blanket securely around her.

Then she walked out into the howling wastes.

"Sophie!" Howl yelled. His cry was drowned by the ferocious wind.

He closed the door, worried. Was it something he had said?

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><p>The wind whipped at Sophie's blanket. It tore at the edge of her dress and tugged on her hair. Sophie frowned. She had underestimated the wind. Not to mention the cold. Still, she trudged on until she found a suitable place – what in the spring might have been a patch of grass. She sat down resolutely. She <em>would <em>make that hat.

But first something had to be done about the wind. Sophie glowered up at the gray sky.

"Calm down!" she yelled. "Leave me alone and stop blowing right through me!"

Sure enough, the wind stopped bothering Sophie. It was avoiding her. Though it was still strong outside her little realm of magic, inside it was calm.

Undeterred by this strange phenomenon, Sophie set to work with a fire. She grabbed some twigs, and after a few well-phrased compliments, they burst into flame. Still a little chilled, she stared at the ground.

"Couldn't you be a bit warmer?" she very nearly complained. The ground around her soon complied.

Now comfortable, Sophie opened her basket and dumped out all her materials. From the daunting pile she picked a forest green colored wool and some grayish looking fur. She was going to make Howl one of those adorable fur-lined hunting hats, complete with ear flaps. She could scarcely contain her excitement.

Since there was no one around to confide in, she was forced to explain to the beginnings of the hat she was making: "You are going to make your owner look so dashing he will not want to take you off!"

Sophie set to work happily in her little bubble of magic, with the wind and snow rushing on the outside, unable to get in.

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><p>Howl sighed dramatically. He would go.<p>

He glided over to the castle door and thrust it open. The wind rushed in, nearly blowing out the fire and completely ruining his hair. And _damnation _it was freezing! Howl slammed the door shut in disgust. He would not go.

He sat down in Sophie's chair next to the now-dying fire. Besides, he mused, Sophie wanted him to come looking for her. It was undoubtedly part of her little plan. He would not give in. He would not go.

Howl waited for a short time.

But…she had been gone for a while now – suppose something had happened? Though Howl seriously doubted anything terribly bad could happen to his stubborn Sophie, the thought continued to plague him, impervious to common sense.

"Fine! _Fine!_" Howl groaned. "I'll go, I'll go! Happy now?" he yelled at no one in particular.

Quashing his pride, Howl left the confines of the castle.

…

…

Before long, Howl came across a bizarre sight.

Sophie was sitting in a patch of green grass, with a fire burning to her side. The snow wasn't falling within a five foot radius of her. She regarded him coolly. Clearly, she had been waiting for him.

Of course.

Howl had half a mind to turn on his heel and trudge back to the castle, but Sophie's little bubble of paradise looked so _warm_. Howl shivered involuntarily. He hadn't been able to find his coat that matched the pants he was currently wearing, so he had left the castle without one. Howl shivered again and began walking toward Sophie. The cold had won out.

As soon as Howl reached Sophie's magical bubble, he sighed, his limbs beginning to thaw.

Sophie was smiling at him. Howl regarded her warily.

"I made something for you Howl," she said.

"As long as it's not a hat," Howl joked.

"Oh, how did you know?" Sophie said sarcastically, thrusting the finished hunter hat forward.

Howl's laugh died in his throat and came out as a sort of croak. He was not wearing _that_. It was so ungainly and furry. Hadn't she listened to anything he'd said?

Guessing what he was thinking, Sophie added defiantly: "I'm not going back inside until you try it on."

"But…" Howl whimpered.

"Howl," Sophie said with a smile, "you only have to try it on. If you don't like it you can take it off."

Howl continued to stare at her incredulously.

"But my bone structure –"

"Oh, hang your bone structure Howl! I'm convinced this hat will look dashing on you."

Howl still seemed torn.

"I'll give you a kiss if you try it on," Sophie promised.

Howl chuckled. "That's not a real incentive. I could easily get that right now." He took a step closer to her.

"Not so fast Howl," Sophie said, taking a step back. Then she muttered a strange word, causing the wind and snow to sweep between them.

Howl started to shiver again. "You say you aren't going back until I put on that blasted hat?"

"Yes," Sophie replied, handing the hat to him.

Taking a deep breath, Howl grabbed the hat, closed his eyes, and put it on. All of a sudden he was very, very warm – like he was sitting in front of a blazing fire cuddled next to Sophie.

"You look very, very cute Howl," Sophie was saying. "Though I suppose you do look a tad ridiculous."

Howl opened his eyes. Sophie was now standing very close to him. The wind had died away again.

Howl whipped out his hand-mirror from his back pocket and studied his reflection.

"Nonsense. I look dashing."

Sophie chuckled. "And I suppose you want to take it off now?"

"Not at all, I seem to have gotten over my aversion to hats."

"That's what I thought," Sophie said triumphantly.

"Didn't you promise me something else?" Howl asked slyly.

"Yes, I did. Come walk with me."

Sophie wrapped her blanket around the two of them while Howl wrapped his arm around her waist. Sophie rested her head on Howl's shoulder, while he rested his head on hers. The fur from the hat tickled her ear.

"You know, you can take the hat off now Howl."

"I love this hat. I'm never taking it off!" was his reply.

Sophie sighed. When would she learn to think things through?

The two of them ambled on through the snowy wastes, not quite caring what direction they were heading in. To Howl's delight, Sophie kept the wind away. He held her closer, not wanting to let go.

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><p><strong>AN:** Yay! Lots of goo. Lots of cheese. Lots of gooey cheese. Ew not so much a fan of this last one myself, but choose whichever suits you best ^^

Now it is 1:52 am. It's official: I do indeed become inspired to write at ungodly hours.

Review please? I stayed up late to write this semi-plotless oneshot just for you ;P


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